Here's why...
1. THE PRESENTS ARE ABSOLUTE CRINGE
That 8.99 Forever Friends bear you painstakingly selected from Card Factory? Yeah it's going straight to the back of the wardrobe, mate
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2. QUESTIONABLE ORIGINS
The snivelling masses don't realise Valentine's Day originates from an ancient Roman festival where people would slap their partners with pieces of cloth drenched in goat blood (actually, kinda sounds more fun?)
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3. ROSES ARE CHUFFING EXPENSIVE
You'd be forgiven for wanting to spend that hard-earned 50 quid on something other than a wad of organisms that are only going to die in a vase in approx 1.5 days
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4. IT'S A CONSUMERIST CULT
How about romance your partner, not the economy?
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