Kimberley funeral director reflects on 25 years of helping people to say goodbye

Alan Winfield, a funeral director and branch manager of Gillotts in Kimberley, notched up a quarter of a century for the family firm this year.

Now aged 64, he began at Gillotts back in 1997, having first started in the profession in January 1979, but says the world of being a funeral director had actually fascinated him since watching his uncle do the job when he was a child.

“Right from a young age, I always had an interest in it,” he said.

“It just fascinated me. Going through my teenage years, I saw it was a way of helping other people.

“It was something you could do for somebody when they were at their lowest ebb in their life. You could step in and help them. It was that which appealed to me.”

Over the years, Alan said he has seen an interesting change in the way that we all deal with the acceptance of death.

Once a taboo subject, the factor that has a huge part to play, he says, is probably social media and the public visibility of “celebrity” funerals.

That, in turn, has had an impact on the role of the funeral director in guiding grieving families to showing their love for the departed in much more personal ways than once they did.

Alan said: “We used to shy away from death, as a generation, if you like. But we don’t so much, these days. People seem to have a better understanding.

“When they meet with us, a lot of people have already made their minds up what they would like, while, back in my early days, very much as a funeral director you told people what they could have and when they would be having the funeral.

“I think perhaps social media has got a lot to do with that. It’s not a taboo subject like it used to be. People have a bit more insight into what can happen when they lose a loved one.”

On September 19, the millions who watched the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II will have been moved by various aspects of that momentous occasion. For many, it was the beautifully observed personal touches which really struck a chord, from the lone piper playing a poignant lament, to the presence of The Queen’s beloved pony, Emma.

And the move towards a personal send-off is something that is only growing with every passing year, says Alan.

“Funerals are becoming more personalised,” he says. “There are distinctive styles of coffins now, for example. We conducted a funeral recently where the gentleman had a love of camper vans, and the family had a camper van. They went away on holiday in it. It seemed fitting for his funeral that he should have a camper van. I know someone who has a camper van that has been converted into a hearse – that made it much more personal for them and brought back a lot of happy memories.

“And in terms of the actual service itself, back in my early days, the minister at the crematorium would usually have never met the person in their life and would conduct a basic service and that was it. Sometimes, the person wasn’t even mentioned by name. These days it’s more the story of a person’s life and a celebration of that person’s life, as opposed to a very banal service.”

Of course, the nature of Alan’s job can sometimes be desperately sad.

He said: “When we have tiny babies or children who have died, it can cause an impact on myself and the staff. I have cried along with families many a time.

“But at the other end of the scale, if you have a lovely old lady who was in her 90s, who’s had a wonderful life, yes, it can be sad, but at the same time you can be thankful for a lifetime of fantastic memories.”

Given Alan has sat with many families over the years who have lost their loved ones – has this affected the way he lives his own life?

He said: “Live for the moment, because you never know when that moment is going to end. If there are things you have always wanted to do, if you get the opportunity, do them.”