Sutton funnyman longs for the return of the live comedy gig

It’s not that we’re all larger than is probably needed.

No, the answer is there have been campaigns to save us.

Not me in particular but the Save Live Comedy campaign has been launched and it’s been receiving a lot of support.

When the lockdown kicked in the live comedy industry went away.

For many of us who made our living by performing in clubs it was a blow.

Months later and we still don’t have our careers back.

Gyms are opening but comedy clubs stay closed.

The experts say that laughing indoors could emit infected droplets but have they seen how people grunt and pant in gyms?

When I go to the gym I also hear a lot of laughter but that might be because of the shorts I’m wearing.

Indoor pools are also opening and surely you’re more likely to catch something in a pool than a comedy club?

We were never made to walk through a foot bath before entering a comedy gig.

It may have been our fault.

As an art form, stand-up comedy has spent most of its time since the 1980s being sarcastic about politicians, so it is no surprise to find that the people in charge aren’t in a rush to let us start again.

I also realise that we stand-up comedians are not an essential service.

No-one will be clapping for us like they did the NHS (well, people will be clapping for us but I think that’s out of convention).

It’s always amazed me that when you are a performer you get a round of applause as you walk on the stage.

That’s before the audience could know if you’re rubbish or not.

It’s not simply an issue of being essential any more.

Nail bars aren’t essential and nor are hairdressers when you only have the amount of hair I have.

Live stand-up comedy is something Britain does well, it has possibly the best circuit in the world.

In the UK, we pride ourselves on our sense of humour.

If you love something you have to put some work in to keep it alive.

Many people love a night out where you can relax, forget about the troubles of the world, have a good laugh and recharge the mental batteries before going back to real life.

I hope that before too long I get to see you at a live comedy gig.

Trust me, it’s better than seeing me down the gym.

Steve N Allen is comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield.